Talking about parenting, we immediately come with the sense of responsibility, love, respect, and support towards our children. Our commitment is to help our children create stepping stones for their life ahead and be valuable members of society. Keeping that in mind, we must not forget the importance of discipline in their lives either in the classic or other discipline strategy. Disciplining a child means setting limits and consequences if he or she shows inappropriate behavior and encouraging good behavior. It promotes safety, good behavior, learning, responsibility, and self-control.
But how many of us have not yelled or grounded our children out of frustration when they misbehave? In these situations, we desperately need some techniques we can use to handle them better. There are still some old-school classic discipline strategy that work for children and are much more effective for promoting good conduct and without hitting and yelling as below.
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Table of Contents
Classic Discipline strategy 1: Take a ‘Time-out’
‘Time-out’ means when you remove your child from the ongoing situation to make them realize that they cannot continue their inappropriate behavior and tell them to think about what they did wrong for a certain amount of time in a specific time-out space. Before calling a time-out, tell them the reason why.
According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), a time-out of one minute per year is appropriate. E.g., a 3-year-old should sit for 3 minutes in the time-out space, and it should not extend for too long as it will make the child more frustrated.
Time-outs help the child settle down and think about their behavior and give the parent some time to subside their anger and frustration.
Classic Discipline strategy 2: Take away a privilege
For kids, privileges mean the things they like to play with or activities they enjoy and not what they need. These can be their favorite toys to play with, watching movies or animations, or using electronics for fun. Taking away a privilege, when used appropriately, can be an effective method to discourage misbehavior.
Pick out something that your child cares about. If it is not something important to them, it may not pose a negative consequence. Also, make sure that it is not for too long. Doing so will lose importance to them, and it won’t be as effective. Set a specific time limit and be firm and consistent.
Classic Discipline strategy 3: Involve them in daily chores
The involvement of children in household chores makes them feel responsible, independent, and accountable for their actions. Assigning simple tasks encourages a sense of responsibility in them and help them feel accomplished.
The daily tasks should be age-appropriate and straightforward, e.g., for toddlers, it can be putting their toys away or piling up their storybooks after reading. For older children, it can be making their bed, setting the table, watering the plants, helping in making dinner sometimes, cleaning the house or sorting out laundry, etc. Simple tasks like these will teach them to discipline because of responsibility and not punishment.
Classic Discipline strategy 4: Don’t yield to their tantrums
It is natural for children to throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want, and most of the time, we as parents melt right away and fulfill their demands. In our minds, we are giving them attention and love by doing so, but like it or not, we are wrong.
Sometimes each of the parents also has a different opinion on this. While talking to a couple, the mother voiced her concern about her daughter throwing tantrums and said, ‘My husband doesn’t discipline our daughter when she does that, and he wants to give her whatever she wants to make her stop crying.’
Both parents must be on the same page on this. Try to avoid showing conflict in front of your child and be firm on disciplining them.
Classic Discipline strategy 5: Use positive reinforcement
One of the old-fashioned methods to develop a child’s character is positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement means giving a reward as a source of encouragement when the desired behavior is shown. It can be a material object like their favorite snack or going to the park or verbal like giving compliments and praises. If you haven’t tried the method before, no worries, you can start today.
You can start with one reward per good deed, e.g., when your kid puts his toys away as you asked them to, praise him and give him a little treat he loves to eat. While providing the reward, always tell him why you are giving it so that he remembers his action associated with the reward. A time comes when they are only verbally praised and encouraged without providing a material reward, but they don’t even notice it and feel accomplished after receiving compliments.
Positive reinforcement enables kids to realize that good behavior brings good results like rewards and recognition from their parents. This feeling helps them in building a sense of responsibility and self-control.
Classic Discipline strategy 6: Do not bargain or make deals
Parents sometimes find it challenging to give their time and attention to their children when they are busy with other work at the moment. It gets more complicated, especially when they are working parents and sometimes have to work at home.
Some parents make deals and bargains with their kids when they don’t listen to them or are misbehaving. Suppose you are sitting at the dinner table. Your child is constantly whining and asking for ice cream without properly eating the healthy food put at the table. Some parents would make deals by saying, “Finish your food, and I’ll get you the ice cream” No doubt, it is an easy way to get out of the situation but not the ideal one.
It is not healthy for kids to develop such character as it will affect their future behavior. Once you resort to such ways, they will make it their habit to make deals whenever they want something from you in return for good behavior. So, avoid making bargains and instead use positive reinforcement.
Classic Discipline strategy 7: Be a good role model
As parents, we want our children to be well-behaved and well-mannered and expect them to be on their best behavior. To achieve this, we try all kinds of healthy methods we know to make a valuable effort toward our child’s character. Still, we ignore the essential way during this process, i.e., by showing them ourselves.
Consider this scenario; you drive your child to school and get stuck in traffic. Instead of patiently waiting for it to be cleared, you start yelling at the driver in front of you, or you tell your child to eat healthy food. Still, you often eat junk food in front of him or ask him to behave well, but you resort to yelling whenever you are in an argument with your spouse.
It is proven that people learn from watching others, and for children, parents are their first and foremost role models. They manage their parents in every situation throughout their lives and imitate the shown behavior when put in a similar position. If you expect good behavior from them, show them how it is done. Parents are not perfect, and we can make mistakes, but at least we should strive to make ourselves better for ourselves and our children.
Final words
It is natural for a parent to become angry and frustrated when their child does not show the desired behavior. But remind yourself to be calm and avoid hitting or yelling to discipline your child. Discipline should be out of love, not anger. It should be our love and responsibility toward our children to teach them how to behave appropriately. It will affect their future choices and decisions and help develop their character.
Not all methods positively impact every family as every family has different situations. Once you try it out and decide what works best for your family, life will become a little easier for you and your children.
About Me
Hi, there. I am Lin. Together with my husband and two kids, we live in the beautiful Netherlands in Europe. I am dedicated to self-development, creating quality time for the whole family, and fully supporting kids with their potentials and possibilities with all I have learned from engineering, MBA, and 10+ years of working experience in the energy sector.
