I spent the past year in my kids’ primary school as a room parent, also called class parent, to facilitate communication between parents, the teachers, and the school administration in needs that may arise. Being a room parent is a great way for me to observe my kids’ behavior at school, and other kids can also benefit from my presence.
Today I would like to share the pros and cons of parents involvement in primary school, based on my personal experience.
Table of Contents
Why do I want to be a room parent (Pros)?
The reason is straightforward and a bit selfish. It benefits my kids in numerous ways. CDC Research shows that parent involvement or engagement in schools is closely linked to better student behavior, higher academic achievement, and enhanced social skills. Especially in their early school years, even the youngest child becomes a big winner when his parents and teachers are so aware, focused, and dedicated to working together on his behalf. In simple words, you showed up for your kids.
Down to practice, firstly my kids are super happy and proud that I can be there for them. Secondly, I can participate in their daily school life and know the classroom decoration, canteen, gym, and playground. When they are talking about the gym facilities at home, they do not need to explain to me again. Thirdly, I already knew their behaviors at home, such as social development with siblings and parents. I could also see the their interaction with peers and teachers, if they are focused on the class, or who are their best friends, if he is bullying others or being bullied, etc. Both sides’ information can help me to understand my kids better. Meanwhile, the room parent experience can also help me to communicate effectively with teachers.
What Do Room Parent Need to Do?
The responsibilities of a room parent vary from school to school, teacher to teacher, and grade to grade. Here are some typical tasks:
1. Align with the teacher’s expectation
Before the school year starts, you need to meet with the teacher about what they expect of you. Depending on the teacher’s style, they may heavily rely on you to organize classroom parties and events, and others may only ask you to do certain things. Either way, you will want to respect the teacher’s style and work with them to create their vision for the class. It is better to book a time and invite the teacher for a coffee. Expect your responsibility and work scope. You may also ask the teacher how to get in touch with each other (WhatsApp, school app, call, email, etc.) and how often you should communicate.
2. Form a communication group
Once you have met with the teacher and determined their expectations, you will want to introduce yourself to the other parents in a letter or email. Most schools will give you the class parents’ contact list. Write a welcome letter, introduce yourself, and let them know that you will be helping the teacher organize certain events. Moreover, you will also want to mention that you will be recruiting volunteers throughout the year, and thanks in advance if you can get help from them. I prefer instance communication such as WhatsApp group, the discussion is more lively among parents. The important thing is to document if any kids are allergic.
You might consider organizing a coffee or playground meeting to help the parents meet in person. You may also want to create a classroom site or folder using Shutterfly, Google Drive, or another service to share all critical classroom information in one place.
3. Collect “class pot” for class events or gift
Do a small budget calculation upfront and estimate how much donations you need. Share the plan with the parents’ group and see if they agree. Then distribute the amount and keep it as an open book account. If you need more halfway, you can ask for another round. For example, my budget plan is as follows:
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4. Meet with the other room parents and school
Typically, the school arranges it once per month for 30 min. It is for the school to highlight their plans. Meanwhile, you can exchange ideas with other room parents.
5. Organize class activities such as workshops, career introductions etc.
If one event needs to bring food for the kids, it must be safe for all the children and better to be healthy. Discuss the food ideas with the other parents and the teacher. Some schools may not allow outside food. You can divide the food list into detailed categories such as banana or apple instead of fruit to involve as many parents as possible. Be sure to recheck the student allergies list before you announce the food list.
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6. Purchase and give gifts to the teacher
Typically at the end of the school year and teacher appreciation day. The gift idea mainly depends on the budget. We have already listed some ideas listed in the blog.
7. Assist and chaperoning in a school trip or sports day
Many schools need one chaperone per five or six kids for the journey. Ensure you know the emergency phone number, starting and endpoints, restrooms, and first aid stations. If you take any kids away from the group (restroom or first aid), be sure the teacher knows.
8. Check lice for the class
Head lice are prevalent among children. It is a simple job to check lice for your kids daily. For the whole class, we need to check if there are lice every month. Kids do not have to stay home because of lice, but they need to separate their stuff, and you need to inform the parents.
9. Find other parent volunteers to help
Once you have determined the activities, you need to contact other parents about volunteering, such as bringing fruits or taking chaperoning. When asking for volunteers, you might ask, “Would anyone be available to help with the Halloween party?” or “Would someone please volunteer to bring treats for the Halloween party?”
10. Send reminders for upcoming events
There is email communication about the school-off day, pick-up time, location, and other things for most school activities. However, many parents miss the email and pop-up one day before the event and ask those questions. One of your jobs is to send reminders to the chat group and remind them.
11. Regular class reading
Some schools ask for extra reading during lunch break for children.
12. Pop up gift for baby, wedding or get well
The Exhaust Part of Room Parent (Cons)
1. Time-Consuming
Have you organized the kids’ birthday party? It is similar or even more significant for organizing or assisting the school event. I spend approximately 2 hours per week on regularly planned tasks for parent volunteers, such as replying to messages and looking for volunteers. With good intentions, do not overpromise as a parent volunteer if you cannot allocate the time.
2. Some parents are demanding
After a super busy school trip, parents in the WhatsApp group are waiting for pictures. I am too exhausted to send the photos and want to lay down. Some cannot wait until the next day and start to pin you in the group, like, “Did any of you take photos?” or “How did it go?” I fully understand the excitement, but maybe they can come next time to assist.
Another example is kids are usually divided into small groups on a school trip. Some parents ask questions like: Tommy and Jenny are good friends, can they be together in the trip? Those are all logical questions, but the teachers set the groups for a reason. You can arrange a playdate if you really want to play together.
3. Opinions are not align
Some parents are terrified of COVID vaccination, and some are not pictures. Some parents are unwilling to share their kids’ photos in a group chat, while some are more than happy to receive the images, and on, and on, and on.
4. Lack of volunteers
Parents are super busy. We are under high financial pressure and have busy schedules. Many of us even cannot get enough sleep. Therefore, the active volunteers are always the same.
5. No pay
The parent volunteer is free and asks for your investment in time and energy. Some parents think it is feasible a few times but not the whole year.
The energy and time spent
Average speaking, I spend 2 hours per week for the room parent work. However, there are peak time and quiet moments, it feels like running projects. I listed the energy and time distribution, hopefully that give you an idea.
11 Do and Don’ts as a School Parent Volunteer
As a class parent, the general rule is “be happy” for kids, teachers, and ourselves. I strongly recommend you do the parent volunteer work while you have enough spare time. If you have a demanding job, it will be very hard for you to keep the commitment when other priorities jump in.
Here are some Dos and Don’ts I learned through the process.
1) Do understand guidelines and respect them
Clear about the boundaries is the first — and probably biggest — step in building a solid partnership with your child’s teacher. Teachers welcome and encourage parents’ participation. But that participation must be done according to the classroom structure, under the teacher’s guidance, and in the children’s best interests. If you have ideas to offer, ask the teacher if she’d like you to act on them.
Remember: While you are the expert on your child, the teacher has a syllabus to develop a group of children. Something that works with one child might be disastrous in a classroom setting.
2) Do not engage with your children immediately
You naturally notice your child immediately and would like to hug them. However, don’t join the circle or take your child onto your lap until the teacher acknowledges you and brings you into the group. This maintains the teacher’s position in the classroom and lets the children know who you are and what role you play in their room. It’s easier for them to understand your presence if there is structure.
It is also easier to prepare with your child one night before, “mama will be in your classroom tomorrow morning. I want to hug you, but I cannot do it immediately. Because tomorrow I will be the mama of class. Your teacher will introduce me, and then we will start to work. Can we do a big hug now, or we do a big hug when I am leaving your classroom?”
3) Do effective communication
Parents are all busy. Try to make the message direct to the point and concise.
4) Do not wait until the last moment
If you are organizing an event, try to avoid late notice. So everyone has time to plan to help you.
5) Be respectful and cautious
When people get stressed, it can be easy to flare their tempers. Remember to keep calm and not say something you will regret later on. Never release contact information for other parents/families without permission or share any sensitive information.
6) Don’t do everything yourself
Being Room Parent doesn’t mean that you are the only parent doing things. Instead, you are the parent who is supposed to be coordinating with the teacher and other parents. Give everyone a chance to be involved.
7) Do thank your volunteers
When people feel appreciated or noticed, they’ll be more likely to help you again. Moreover, welcome for more fathers for volunteers!
8) Do not play favorites
Give a chance for all interested parents to get involved, on whatever level they’re able to help. Be fair and open to all participants. Sometimes, there is an exciting field trip that many parents want to join. Make it first come, first served.
9) Don’t gossip around
You mean observe or know something special, but do not gossip around with others, which only contributes to a hostile environment.
10) Don’t compare your class to others
Each class or teacher is different, and other groups can inspire you with new ideas but do not compare them. It is not a competition.
11) Do share details when you are asking for help
People are more likely to agree to help out when they know the work content and time. When seeking out volunteers, instead of asking, “we need help on Halloween party, contact Lin if you can volunteer.” Be specific, such as “we need to waiters in the Halloween party on Nov 23rd from 17:00 to 20:00″.
Final Thoughts from Pragmatic Lifestyle
The most heavy workload of room parent are communication and doing the actual work if you do not have enough volunteers. However, it is also fun to enjoyable to be a room parent, to see the proud face of kids and engage more with teacher. Work goes on, but kids can never be 6 years old again.
About me
Hi, there, I am Lin. Together with husband and two kids, we live in the beautiful Netherlands in Europe. I am dedicated for self development, create quality time for the whole family, and fully support kids with their potentials and possibilities.
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