Hi, there. I am Lin. Welcome to my blog!
I am 37 years old, a trained chemical engineer from TU Delft, and working in the energy sector in the Netherlands. I have 1 husband, 2 adorable and happy kids, and 3 fantastic but very demanding jobs. Meanwhile, I graduated with my EMBA from Erasmus University in March 2022 and have a comfortable passive monthly income.
External interview about me:
Table of Contents
Why I start the blog pragmatic lifestyle
The most often asked question to me is, “How did you do it“?
From their point of view, I arrived from a foreign country as a poor student, running a family without the support of my parents or in-laws (they are in Chinese Taipei and mainland), but still managed to keep earning and learning happily. Moreover, I can still have hobbies in painting, street dance, and volunteer work.
Besides, my two children are doing 3 sports (grass hockey, swimming, judo), 3 musical instruments (flute, piano, drum), and speak 3 languages (Chinese, English, Dutch). They also have various hobbies like, painting, dancing, theater, singing, magician, etc.) (do not get a stereotype, I am not a tiger mom 😊).
If I have achieved more, I attribute this to my pragmatic lifestyle. Instead of answering the question one by one, I decided to open the blog to share the philosophy and make friends with all of you.
It is all started with thoughts
“Watch your thoughts: they become words;
Watch your words; they become actions;
Watch your actions; they become habits;
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character,for it becomes your destiny.”
I do not know who said this, but I genuinely believe in it. Your thoughts or attitude define everything. I want to share the top 3 beliefs that help me develop myself and my family.
First, know what you want
I knew it was an old fashion question. But have you spent 2 hours alone and asked yourself what you truly wish to do?
From my first workday, I always performed “above expectation” and had a fast-learning curve and promotion from junior to senior engineer. Until I became a mother, I started to work one day less. Then my annual performance became “meet expectation,” and I stayed with the same senior engineer for a long time, project after project, repeating the same thing.
Meanwhile, my husband’s work has become more demanding, he is flying around the world, and I am taking more responsibility for the family.
Everything looks fantastic, a stable job, one adorable baby, and a promising husband. It sounds like a typical middle-class family.
But I am not happy and nearly depressed. I could pursue my career, but I have a baby to take care of. You can replace anyone but a mom. My life changed, and everyone expecting you accept the change happily because there is a baby! Yeah~~~
People usually say that you should consider carefully before you have a baby. Yes, I thought so. But I overestimated the work. He woke up three times per night for milk, and I could not sleep after giving milk to him, by holding him, looking at the sky from black to pink while my husband was snoring aside.
I love my child, and I want to be a good mother and wife, being reasonable, and I knew waking him up does not help anything. It is better to be tired and sleepless for one, and he can help me tomorrow daytime. But I am helpless and nearly depressed. I started to purchase everything related to the house online, either wanted or needed.
One day, I cried for no reason, and my milk stopped. I realized how much I broke inside.
While my son was sleeping, I carried a baby camera and took a long walk outside. I keep telling myself, “What do you want? Be a good mother and wife, or still pursuing a career.” The answer is that I want all. There is nothing to be ashamed of that woman is ambitious, and they want to impact society.
I changed my thoughts from “shall I sacrifice myself to the family” to “how can I be both good for family and career” from the moment.
Secondly, being busy is a decision, and I am too busy means you do not want it
“I’m too busy to exercise.”
“I have to call, but I’m too busy now.”
Sound familiar? Did you tell your kids or friends, or did someone tells you?
Do you know what it means? Maybe you are trying to deceive others or deceiving yourself.
We are all busy. But being too busy that you did not do other things mean that it is not important to you, either consciously or not consciously. If you tell someone else you’re “so busy” you can’t get involved with them, you’re saying you don’t consider them important enough to worry about.
Being busy is a decision. You have time and choose to watch TV, check Facebook or Instagram, which means you would instead do something else that you think is more important.
Everyone has 24 hours per day, and it all depends on how you use it. I list a fantastic TED talk: How to gain control of your free time by Laura Vanderkam.
Thirdly, Select Things Smartly – Synergy
I love to watch Nathan Chen’s figure skating. Each jump and all the technical elements are perfectly executed, plus fluidity and beautiful flow of all the transitions with the choreo and music being one. Nathan made the routine look so easy and light, although it’s not and full of difficult quads. In addition to skating, he competed in gymnastics at the state and regional levels for seven years and previously trained in ballet with Ballet West Academy. Moreover, he is a Yale student majoring in Statistics and Data Science.
All dots are interlinked, and the dance background helps to enhance Chen’s skating gymnastics and ballet. Chen’s athletic achievements have required focus and discipline, not to mention tenacious competitiveness balanced by humility. These qualities have also served him well as a student.
“Skating is extremely good at teaching you how to plan,” he says. “It is similar to a school, and you know your test dates, when your midterms are, when your projects are due, and how much effort you might have to put in depending on how difficult the material is.”
I lead a department in a worldwide oil and gas company. I mentor young potentials, manage stakeholders, and manage high stake projects. In addition, I am running a family, raising two kids (6 and 7), dancing, and painting weekly.
Many people use game theory to understand time management. If I allocate time to do thing A, they do not have time for thing B. However, you need to find the mutual ground of things and see the win-win possibility.
For example, being a department manager is similar to running a family, developing potential, coaching, correcting misbehavior, and providing feedback. Another example is that I needed to read fast during my MBA and submit the assignment with a critical deadline; these two years of training helped me write blog articles.
While it looks like people are running different things, the dots are connected.
Finally
Ok, Time to close today, and I hope you get more pictures of me. I hope we can be friends through this blog. If there is anything I am writing is helping you, that will be a true honor.
Do you also want to share your story? Please leave me a message!
See you every day!
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